We Have No Choice

Throughout the course of a lifetime, a person makes a countless number of decisions. We choose who we want to be when we grow up, where to go to school, where to live. There are many personal concepts we cannot control, however, some of which being skin color and intelligence. One of these personal concepts that is often debated is homosexuality. Because homosexuality usually reveals itself later in a person’s life and because of the pressure to be straight, much of society believes homosexuality is a choice. However, there is collective evidence that this is not the case. After observing the scientific factors, it becomes increasingly clear that homosexuals are born with the sexual orientation they identify with.

            According to Sigmund Freud, gay men are the way they are because their father left the family and their mother was overbearing, while gay women consider themselves castrated and express their anger by taking a female as their sexual object. Obviously, this theory is altogether ridiculous. There are many gay men who have grown up with both their mother and father, and the Freud’s theory on lesbians is nowhere near logical. The reason that there is no way of pinpointing the exact social and emotional situation that creates a homosexual is because a person is gay the second they are born.

Many people, will argue that homosexuality is unnatural. This isn’t necessarily true; even though most of the animals on earth are straight, there are many species that show homosexual behavior. According to an informative internet video entitled “Being Gay Is NOT A Choice,” scientists have seen gay relationships in “zebras, baboons, dolphins, sheep, buffalo, ducks, foxes, elephants, horses, gorillas, moose, house cats, pigs, mice, rabbits, swans and lions to name a few.”-1. It is clear that, in fact, homosexuality occurs quite often in nature.

            The most recent scientific evidence has to do with genes and hormones. One of these studies focuses on identical twins. This is explored further in the video:

“When one twin is gay, the other twin is also gay 70% of the time, far higher than would occur if genes played no role. In fact, this study showed that genes play a greater role in determining sexual orientation than they do in whether or not a person is right or left handed.”-1

            Another argument made against the possibility that people are born homosexual is the creation of ex-gay ministries. Some homosexuals, after being tormented and ridiculed, will visit an ex-gay ministry to “find Christ” and become straight. In the video, it states:

“However, even these places don’t claim to change a person’s inner-sexual desires, just his or her sexual conduct. If these ministries really worked then why don’t they all use the same technique? Why does each ministry experiment in its own way? Furthermore, many members and leaders have recanted earlier claims that they were changed.”-1.

In the end, the men and women returning from ex-gay minitries have not been made straight, they’ve just been taught how to hide something that isn’t wrong with them in the first place.

            We all have choices to make, and our sexual orientation is not one of them. One of the upsetting facts about this is that there are many gay people who wish they could have chosen otherwise, just to escape the torment and ridicule. If anyone has any doubt, it may be important to point out, as it says in the internet film:

“The American Medical Association, The American Psychiatric Association, The American Psychological Association, The American Psychoanalytic Association, The American Academy of Pediatrics, and The National Association of Social Workers have all stated that homosexuality should not be treated as a mental disorder, that they oppose attempts at reparative or conversion therapy, and that homosexuality is not a choice and cannot be changed.”-1

Works Cited

1.      Being Gay Is NOT A Choice [video]. (2010). Retrieved December 12, 201, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-4WSgiiYR8

Immature Maturity (Final)

           Every human being born in this world must travel through life, learning as they go along, striving toward a well-formed adulthood. We all know what we want to be when we grow up, who our friends should be, where we want to live. Some do well at reaching their goals, while there are many whose dreams are shut down by losing their innocence early in life. The world can seem bright and welcoming, but it is all too easy for our youth to become distracted from their future by a number of life-shattering factors. These factors can range from losing a beloved pet, to witnessing a violent crime, and although they do not always occur at the fault of the beholder, these events can take hold of a child’s life and drag it in a steady downward spiral. Such is the case for Sonny in the novel The Flowers, by Dagoberto Gilb. From the minute the reader opens the book, Sonny never seems to have a fighting chance at life. As a kid, he is left at home while his mother dressed provocatively and went out to meet men. He is attacked by one of his mother’s suitors, arrested on the street and sent to Juvenile Court, and made to live with a gun toting racist. Sonny certainly suffers many events that all contribute to his loss of innocence, and this is due to the careless people around him and his dismal surroundings.

            When the story begins, Sonny is telling the story of his own life. He tells us in the first few pages about his little habit of breaking and entering. He talks about how he used to climb into empty houses through a window, relax on their couch and look at their family photos. He mentions that he likes to take a couple of dollars if he sees any lying around. Although Sonny isn’t stealing anything expensive or vandalizing the property, what he’s doing is obviously abnormal. Most children at that age wouldn’t ever consider breaking into a house, empty or not. Sonny does this because he is left alone so often, and wants to know what it feels like to be a part of a regular family. It’s apparent that his mother either doesn’t know about his unusual habit or doesn’t care. Either way, no one helps Sonny to understand that he doesn’t need to break into houses to feel safe and happy.

            The next life-altering incident for Sonny is when the raging drunk man comes banging on the door. Sonny is home alone with his dog, Goofy, when a man shows up demanding to see his mother. Sonny’s mother isn’t home and tells this to the enraged man. The man doesn’t believe Sonny and proceeds to beating the door down. Sonny panics and frantically runs into the kitchen to grab a butcher knife. The man barges in, and lunges at Sonny with the intent of snatching the knife. The blade slices Sonny in the stomach and the man runs off in fear of legal consequences. “I didn’t say nothing. I stepped back once more, keeping the same distance between us. He stepped toward me again and I backed up once more, thinking where a knife should go…” (8) Sonny is a kid, he doesn’t understand how to fight off a full-grown man. This certainly contributes to Sonny’s loss of innocence; fighting off a man twice his size for fear of his life. This wouldn’t have happened if not for Sonny’s mother dealing with such individuals when she goes “out.” She exposed her son to this horrible man; it’s her fault Sonny was forced into making a decision no boy his age should ever have to make.

            Not long into the book, Sonny’s mother marries Cloyd Longpre, a large, redneck hunter. From the start, Sonny neither likes nor trusts Cloyd. As soon as they move, Cloyd forces Sonny to give up his dog, Goofy. This is a very significant part in the novel, as it symbolizes Sonny having his comfort and safety ripped away from him. After this, Sonny loses what little connection he felt to his family. Out of all the events that happen to Sonny, this may be the one that changes him the most.

            During his stay in the apartment complex, Los Flores, Sonny meets many other colorful characters in the book. One in particular is a promiscuous young stay-at-home wife named Cindy. Cindy takes a liking to Sonny right away, and it’s almost too obvious what’s going to happen. Cindy lures Sonny into her apartment and offers him drugs and alcohol, which he accepts. She has sex with him, despite her status as a married woman. Sonny leaves quickly afterwards, but returns reluctantly on numerous occasions, no matter how wrong he thinks it feels. Losing one’s innocence is very commonly categorized as losing one’s virginity. This example is very blunt in this way, but effective just the same. Sonny once again finds himself growing up too fast.

            Because Sonny walks the streets often, he is bound to come across some questionable people. One in particular is a suspicious looking older man who tends to cruise slowly down the road, following Sonny. Sonny deals with him on a number of occasions, eventually picking up an immense rock and hurling it at the man’s windshield. The man backs off for a while, and Sonny finds the man’s car, parked in a lot. Sonny sneaks out at night and comes very close to wrecking the car further, then decides he doesn’t want to let go of his rock. His rock is a replacement of Goofy, it is Sonny’s provider of safety and comfort. Towards the end of the book, however, the “sickie dude” finds Sonny at the railroad tracks. Sonny is out clearing his head before helping Nina escape to Mexico. The man rolls down the window to speak to Sonny, and after a bit of tense conversation, Sonny chucks the rock straight into the man’s head. Sonny narrates about the explosion of red and the car crashing into another. Sonny has been shown violence most of his life, and so, he reacted in such a way. Sonny kills a man, and loses that last shred of innocence.

            The world in which Sonny lives is wrought with violence, hate, and racism. Living there exposed him to all of these things, at such an impressionable age. His mother doesn’t help the situation, in that she never explains adult concepts to Sonny or comforts him when he needs it. From the beginning, Sonny is maturing too quickly. Sonny’s childhood innocence is swallowed up, and there is nothing he can do to get it back.  

Immature Maturity

          Every human being born in this world must travel through life, learning as they go along, striving toward a well-formed adulthood. We all know what we want to be when we grow up, who our friends should be, where we want to live. Some do well at reaching their goals, while there are many whose dreams are shut down by losing their innocence early in life. The world can seem bright and welcoming, but it is all too easy for our youth to become distracted from their future by a number of life-shattering factors. These factors can range from losing a beloved pet, to witnessing a violent crime, and although they do not always occur at the fault of the beholder, these events can take hold of a child’s life and drag it in a steady downward spiral. Such is the case for Sonny in the novel “The Flowers,” by Dagoberto Gilb. From the minute the reader opens the book, Sonny never seems to have a fighting chance at life. As a kid, he is left at home while his mother dressed provocatively and went out to meet men. He is attacked by one of his mother’s suitors, arrested on the street and sent to Juvenile Court, and made to live with a gun toting racist. Sonny certainly suffers many events that all contribute to his loss of innocence, and this is due to the careless people around him and his dismal surroundings.

            When the story begins, Sonny is telling the story of his own life. He tells us in the first few pages about his little habit of breaking and entering. He talks about how he used to climb into empty houses through a window, relax on their couch and look at their family photos. He mentions that he likes to take a couple of dollars if he sees any lying around. Although Sonny isn’t stealing anything expensive or vandalizing the property, what he’s doing is obviously abnormal. Most children at that age wouldn’t ever consider breaking into a house, empty or not. Sonny does this because he is left alone so often, and wants to know what it feels like to be a part of a regular family. It’s apparent that his mother either doesn’t know about his unusual habit or doesn’t care. Either way, no one helps Sonny to understand that he doesn’t need to break into houses to feel safe and happy.

            The next life-altering incident for Sonny is when the raging drunk man comes banging on the door. Sonny is home alone with his dog, Goofy, when a man shows up demanding to see his mother. Sonny’s mother isn’t home and tells this to the enraged man. The man doesn’t believe Sonny and proceeds to beating the door down. Sonny panics and frantically runs into the kitchen to grab a butcher knife. The man barges in, and lunges at Sonny with the intent of snatching the knife. The blade slices Sonny in the stomach and the man runs off in fear of legal consequences. This certainly contributes to Sonny’s loss of innocence; fighting off a man twice his size for fear of his life. This wouldn’t have happened if not for Sonny’s mother dealing with such individuals when she goes “out.” She exposed her son to this horrible man; it’s her fault Sonny was forced into making a decision no boy his age should ever have to make.

            Not long into the book, Sonny’s mother marries Cloyd Longpre, a large, redneck hunter. From the start, Sonny neither likes nor trusts Cloyd. As soon as they move, Cloyd forces Sonny to give up his dog, Goofy. This is a very significant part in the novel, as it symbolizes Sonny having his comfort and safety ripped away from him. After this, Sonny loses what little connection he felt to his family. Out of all the events that happen to Sonny, this may be the one that changes him the most.

            During his stay in the apartment complex, Los Flores, Sonny meets many other colorful characters in the book. One in particular is a promiscuous young stay-at-home wife named Cindy. Cindy takes a liking to Sonny right away, and it’s almost too obvious what’s going to happen. Cindy lures Sonny into her apartment and offers him drugs and alcohol, which he accepts. She has sex with him, despite her status as a married woman. Sonny leaves quickly afterwards, but returns reluctantly on numerous occasions, no matter how wrong he thinks it feels. Losing one’s innocence is very commonly categorized as losing one’s virginity. This example is very blunt in this way, but effective just the same. Sonny once again finds himself growing up too fast.

            Because Sonny walks the streets often, he is bound to come across some questionable people. One in particular is a suspicious looking older man who tends to cruise slowly down the road, following Sonny. Sonny deals with him on a number of occasions, eventually picking up an immense rock and hurling it at the man’s windshield. The man backs off for a while, and Sonny finds the man’s car, parked in a lot. Sonny sneaks out at night and comes very close to wrecking the car further, then decides he doesn’t want to let go of his rock. His rock is a replacement of Goofy, it is Sonny’s provider of safety and comfort. Towards the end of the book, however, the “sickie dude” finds Sonny at the railroad tracks. Sonny is out clearing his head before helping Nina escape to Mexico. The man rolls down the window to speak to Sonny, and after a bit of tense conversation, Sonny chucks the rock straight into the man’s head. Sonny narrates about the explosion of red and the car crashing into another. Sonny has been shown violence most of his life, and so, he reacted in such a way. Sonny kills a man, and loses that last shred of innocence.

            The world in which Sonny lives is wrought with violence, hate, racism, and sexism. Living there exposed him to all of these things, at such an impressionable age. His mother doesn’t help the situation, in that she never explains adult concepts to Sonny or comforts him when he needs it. From the beginning, Sonny is maturing too quickly. Sonny’s childhood innocence is swallowed up, and there is nothing he can do to get it back.  

Sonny's Racist World

     Sonny can't seem to escape racism no matter where he goes. When he walks home with the twins, groups of older kids and adults shout racial slurs from their passing cars. The twins always voice their complaints about these people, whereas Sonny seems almost totally uninterested in the matter. In the Bowling Ally, it's usually occupied by Hispanic men drinking beer and eating, but the whole place becomes tense when two black men come in for a drink. Sonny is the only person who talks to them and even recommends some food. At home, Cloyd is suspicious over any black man or woman walking by the apartment complex. When Pink is thought to be sharing his apartment with a black man, Cloyd becomes furious and so does Bud. Silvia tells Sonny that Pink must be an albino black man and that's why he has so many black friends and customers. Sonny doesn't seem phased by any of this and continues to talk and joke with Pink. Sonny even mentions taking pleasure in the fact that Pink is deceiving Cloyd and Bud by not letting on that his skin color is a facade. Sonny obviously doesn't respond to racism, and perhaps this is the wisest way of dealing with it.

Sonny's Hard-Earned Cash

     After the first few pages of the book, we understand that Sonny has no problem breaking into houses and taking a little cash every now and then. This gets more extreme after his mother marries Cloyd and moves the family into the apartment building. After this, Sonny begins stealing some bills from his mother's purse, and even some dirty magazines from the mail. His kleptomania seems to be under control for a while until he encounters a drunk homeless-looking man on the street. The man takes a swing at him and Sonny, in self defense, hits back. Once the man is subdued and groaning on the sidewalk, Sonny instinctively bends down and plucks the wallet from the man's back pocket. At this point, Sonny is changed. After he comes across a large amount of cash stuffed into an envelope in Cloyd's desk drawer, Sonny knows somehow that he'll have to steal it someday. He keeps the knowledge of the envelope to himself for quite a while, and doesn't go back to look at it. Eventually, however, he knows he must replenish his meager funds. Sonny takes a long time contemplating taking the money, and then finally he does.
     So far, all Sonny seems to be spending money on is food and bowling. His interest in French is obviously sarcastic, but he subconsciously enjoys it. I think it's obvious that Sonny will eventually consider buying a plane ticket to France with his stolen money. Whether or not it's to get back at Cloyd, I believe that will be an option later on in the book.

A Second Glance At Cloyd

     A couple blogs ago, I gave my analysis of Cloyd around half-way through the novel. I stick by my claim that Cloyd is indeed a racist, sexist Neanderthal with no respect for Sonny or Silvia. In my earlier blog I mentioned that Cloyd is headed in a dangerous and perhaps violent direction. This is still apparent, especially with Silvia's secret outings acting as a catalyst. Cloyd is getting drunk every night, yelling at Silvia when she comes home late, and I'm honestly very surprised he hasn't physically attacked her or Sonny. Bud isn't helping Cloyd's frustration either, and I predict Bud will gang up with Cloyd against Silvia when the time comes.

Emi's Reading Habits

     Because of my ADHD, I always need to keep my hands busy. You can imagine how annoying that must be, especially when I need to do schoolwork. Reading, for one thing, is something I must sometimes force myself to do. The thing is, I love reading, but if there's anything else going on, I'll get distracted. This doesn't seem too weird, except that in any other situation I have to have the TV on or there's no way I'll be able to concentrate. Reading is the only thing I do that requires complete silence. However, I can't ever sit still, even when I am reading. A lot of the time when I read, I'll sit in my desk chair and swivel about absentmindedly while I nibble on almonds. It's a problem when my girlfriend gets a hold of my desk chair first because that means I have to sit in a normal chair that doesn't move, and so I end up tapping and twitching my foot which shakes the whole room. I think my favorite reading habit of all though, is when it's really late, all the lights are off, everyone else is in bed and I get to read with my book light. I enjoy this because it feels like I'm getting away with something I shouldn't be doing.

The Loss of Innocence

     "The Flowers" has thus far presented a number of themes, but none have been so obvious as Sonny's loss of innocence, and coming-of-age. Sonny is forced to grow up far earlier than any child should, and continues to be forced into making adult decisions at the impressionable age of 15. Perhaps the first example of this is when he is attacked by a grown man on page 8-9. He has no choice but to defend himself by snatching a knife and standing his ground against the violent drunk. The next good example is when his dog, Goofy, is taken from him. Goofy the dog symbolizes Sonny's comfort and stability. After Cloyd takes Goofy away, it's clear that Sonny becomes a different person, a boy who no longer feels any real connection to his "family." Although I hate to use such an obvious example for the loss of innocence, I feel like I should mention Sonny losing his virginity to Cindy. I think perhaps in the depths of Sonny's mind, he feels somewhat influenced by Cloyd's "You gotta learn how to be a real man" speeches. Sonny never really wanted to have sex with Cindy, but when the opportunity presented itself, he took it to prove his manhood to himself, and perhaps, the twins. Something that really interests me is the fact that Nica is in the same situation. She has been forced to grow up far to quickly by her parents pulling her out of school and leaving her to care fro her baby brother all day and night. Sonny is quite drawn to Nica, perhaps for the reason that he understands what she's going through. This theme is definitely central to this novel in the way that it continues to be an issue for Sonny. He's aging rapidly through his many unusual tasks and encounters, and not even his mother seems to notice or care.

Cloyd: The Neanderthal

     From the moment Cloyd is introduced, he becomes the antagonist. He usurps Sonny's Mother, home, and way of life as soon as he stumbles in with his slick hair and fake suit. Cloyd has obviously been raised by a traditional sexist family, and is continuing the traditions and customs in his own home. Unfortunately, Sonny is forced to be included in Cloyd's red-neck culture. Cloyd's way of thinking goes a little like this: No man is a man unless he has a gun, the correct caveman instinct to use that gun, a submissive, silent wife who cooks without question, and a son who understands and agrees with all of the above. This man is a person I've met too many times for my own comfort level. My uncle, for example, lives in his large shiny house with his wrinkle-free wife and three blond children, and has only ventured into a dictionary once, in order to find bigger words with which to describe his five new over-sized trucks. As a child I attended many Easters and Thanksgivings at his house, but a couple years ago when I decided to bring my girlfriend to a party he was far too uncomfortable and "didn't want his son exposed to such things." I haven't been back since, and am happy to remind myself we're not related by blood.
     Although Cloyd appears to be a dull, drunk Neanderthal, I can't help but think it's not his fault. The book has yet to mention anything of the sort, but I can imagine Cloyd's childhood was not a happy one. His father must have drilled his ideals into Cloyd's head, the same way Cloyd is doing it to Sonny. Cloyd father probably never told Cloyd he was proud of him, or helped him through many life issues. Cloyd was also exposed to sexism and racism, for that matter. Cloyd has voiced his negative oppinions on black people several times, and although his oppinions on the Mexicans are overall positive-seeming, they are racist all the same. Just the fact that he calls his wife "one pretty Mexican gal" makes him sound all the more unintelligent. The man is passive aggressive, as well, and Sonny's mother knows it. She tells Sonny about Cloyd's obsession over saving toilet paper and how he blames her for using too much. At first he would just yell at her about it, but lately he's taken to saying things like "You should go to the store and buy more toilet paper." In many ways, it's healthier to explode and yell than it is to use passive aggressive behavior, and this is why Cloyd may be heading in a violent direction.

The Future Sonny?

     Out of all the books I've read, none have had quite the same effect as this one. The tone for one thing, is one that I connect with quite easily. Sonny's way of speaking is as if he's an artist who has something interesting in mind to paint, but without the tools to paint it with. By this I mean that he speaks illiterately when he has quite intelligent subjects to speak of. As I was reading it made me think it's the more pensive kids who would rather listen than talk who go on to create great things like celebrated books and poetry. One very interesting point in the first 50 pages struck me; the fact that Sonny associates people, voices and music with colors and light patterns. He talks about listening in on his mother's phone conversations with his eyes closed, and her voice appearing to him in swirling white patterns. I can connect with this easily and it frustrates me when people don't understand. I especially connected with the excerpt when Sonny tries to explain it to his mother but he says she seemed to look and listen somewhere else. I have had certain abstract experiences and associations with events that ressonated in a way I know I could never fully explain to anyone else. In some way, I'm happy I could never explain them because that makes them exclusive to only me and my thoughts. However, it would be nice for someone to be able to agree with me. Even if we didn't talk about it, I'd like just the knowledge that someone understands. Then again, it also makes me consider the possibility that maybe everyone has this experience all the time but none of us really know how to explain it to one another so the whole thing goes unrecognized.
     The great thing about this book so far is that it's not trying to hard. It feels good to read it because it's not overwhelming, but at the same time I find myself reading in between the lines. The smallest ideas that Sonny presents as passing thoughts make me think harder than he seems to have intended. I do double-takes very often. One passage in particular that I loved reads: "I didn't know about rifles except what anyone would know. I couldn't imagine what anyone had so many for. So many I couldn't look at them because they looked back too." This made me smile and read it aloud to my dad. It's wonderful because these beautiful passages are burried in what seems like ordinary everyday speech about ordinary things. Sonny surprises me in the way he consumes himself in his thoughts.
     Sonny won't end up like his sister. It seems to me that she and Sonny are like fire and ice, outward and inward. Sonny listens and broods while she explodes and screams. He's one of those who soaks up information and emotions like a sponge and then lets it out in one intense climactic revelation, although this has yet to happen. Of course I don't know what's going to happen to him in the end, but I know he's going to strive for something better.

I Am

     I am an artist. I try to make it my responsibility to create every chance I get. The simplest art form I'm involved in is drawing and painting, but I also love to knit, and use computer software like Adobe Photoshop. I play the guitar and sing with my girlfriend of two years, Kaylah, and we cover songs by many bands including my favorite band, Tegan and Sara. Although the arts hold a special significance in my life, that significance is only matched by my love for animals. Even when I'm drawing, there's a good 95% chance it's a picture of an animal. I currently volunteer at the San Martin Animal Shelter, training dogs and preparing them for adoption. Reading is a passion of mine, and when I find myself with free time I mostly like to read memoirs. I like fantasy as well, however and am currently on the fifth book in the Chronicles of Narnia. I have kept journals all my life and try to write as much as I can, no matter how useless my thoughts are at the time. I come from a very laid-back family of musicians still living out their hippie days. I can go to them for anything and everything, making it so that I never forget I have a good life. I have one tattoo, a heart with a peace sign in the middle. I'm planning on getting more soon, it just depends on when I finish designing them and saving up the money. When it comes to the two dreaded topics of politics and religion, I don't hesitate to voice my strong support of liberalism and atheism. My real name is Emily, but since I know over five girls with the same name, my friends started calling me Emi and now I never answer to my full name when I'm called by it (unless it's my mother speaking). Thank you for reading the unnecessarily long paragraph about my life, my name is Emi, it's nice to meet you.